It's Fall?

Well it's supposed to be fall, but it feels more like summer around here.  Today's high is 95!  UGH ~ why is it that summer hits us just when I'm ready for cooler weather and warmer food?  Always the way....so I'm trying to enjoy it in my white pants and tank top.  BUT ~ I've already started decorating for fall....I bought a whole mess of pumpkins on Saturday and pulled out everything orange and leafy from the attic. The hubs even helped me collect pinecones for our front porch decor {awwww, he's sweet}. I promise to post pictures as soon as it's all done.  I'm kinda mid stream right now.  

We're on a hunt right now for a {drum roll please}.....

An airstream trailer!  

Something older ~ hopefully either of our birth years.  It doesn't have to be spiffed up and perfect because we think that will be the fun part.  Really we're looking for something that's been well cared for and is the right price.  We'll shine it up and make it our own.  I don't know how much "camping" we'll do.  It might be parked in our back yard as a kitschy guest house....we'll see how things turn out.

And also on my mind right this second is my handbag.  I bought a Gucci purse last year some time.  It was a big deal for me because I love Gucci, but always, always, ALWAYS hesitate based on price.  Last year I did it.  I bought a black Italian leather handbag with gold hardware.  It's a boho style with a rounded square bottom.  

I think it's an older version of this bag, and all black, without the signature stripes.  So not like this at all....

It goes with anything and I just knew it would last a lifetime which was why I bought it.  Well ~ today the hardware on one of the straps broke.  It BORKE!  I called and it seems as if they'll be able to repair it which was a relief, and likely part of the high price.  But I'm still a bit sad.  You know how you get connected to a purse and it's like a friend.  You know where all your do-daws fit and you can reach in blindly to find things?  I guess I'll have to part with my friend for a little bit while she gets repaired.  

Hopefully it won't be too long.

That's all for now.

Happy Fall ~ if it feels like Fall where you are.

If not, Happy Indian Summer!

Hugs,

Carrie

Struggles

Sometimes it seems like life is good.  Great even!  We wander through our days without a care in the world.  Happiness and joy seem to be the primary emotions in our repertoire of feelings.  Even the bad things that sneak in aren't that bad.  Each day is greeted with excitement and a smile for what it may bring.

And then there are other times.  Darker, more difficult times.  Times when we wonder where the happiness and joy went and why it's been gone for so long.  Days when it feels as if it's hard to breath because of the weight of the stress you're carrying and the day is greeted with fear of what might come your way next.

Unfortunately, I'm in one of those dark times.  I've not really ever experienced something this profound and long lasting.  In the past I've been busy and stressed.  Worried about tasks on my list that I hadn't yet completed but needed to be finished urgently.  Piled too much on my plate leaving me juggling too many things at once and needing to be everywhere at the same time.  What I would consider typical of a busy mom who owns her own business and runs a home.

But this is different.  This is a stress I've never known.  These feelings are completely unfamiliar to me and it seems like I don't have the tools to handle them, which is also frightening.  So many of the things happening in our life are out of our control.  Decisions not yet made by people who don't really know or understand us, seem to have our lives on hold right now.  

I know, and the hubs reminds me, that we can only control what we can, and deal with all other things as they come.  But it's hard.  I find my mind so overactive that I don't sleep at night because I can't force my brain to turn OFF!  Sometimes it seems like the list I have going is so big and daunting that I don't even know where to start which means I don't start.  I just walk away from it and hope I'll have a better understanding the next day.  

I know what's going on in my life will be over eventually and that it's part of owning a small business, the nature of our economy right now, and having children who, despite the guidance we give them, are still their own people and will make mistakes.  I also know that I'm blessed beyond belief because we're healthy and safe and have each other.  But I could really use some joy right now.  

Hugs,

Carrie